Arrival
The proceedings begin with the arrival of the Groom and his entourage at the Bride's home the venue.
The group accompanying the Groom consists of family and friends, but leading the procession will be drummers and traditional folk dancers, whose lively celebrations announce their arrival to all around.
Banana leaves and sugar cane are paraded like banners by some of the attendants, while others bear the traditional gifts of the Khan Makk, which includes rice, sesame seeds, Thai food for the feast and many Thai desserts, as well as monetary gifts and other precious items, such as gold and jewellery, which will make up the dowry to the Bride's parents later on in the ceremony. Many of these gifts represent important aspects of the marriage, such as health, prosperity, fertility and longevity.
The Thai desserts to be eaten as part of the feast consists of 9 different items. The number 9 is important in Thai society and its' use on occasions such as this is regarded as very lucky.
The timing of the procession is also important, as it will have been calculated to occur at the most auspicious moment for the couple. It is also common for the lucky number 9 to figure in these calculations as well.
When the procession finally arrives at the Bride's home they will be met by the Bride's family, who will invite the Groom into the home to conduct the next part of the ceremony.
Barring the Groom
In order for the wedding to continue, the Groom must collect the Bride from her room to join him for the Khan Makk ceremony. However, before this can happen, the Groom must successfully pass through a number of obstacles that are put in the Grooms way by the Bride's family. These symbolic "doors" can only be entered once the Groom has proved his worth to the keepers of the "locks". Normally, there are just 3 of these symbolic "doors" (often represented by a chain), but there may be more.
The Groom can sometimes be questioned and is occasionally teased during this ritual as the family light-heartedly determine whether he can pass through each "door", but his passage to the next "door", or ultimately to the Brides room itself, will only be granted once a "toll" has been negotiated with the keeper of the "lock". The toll for each subsequent "door" will increase as the Groom successfully advances.
Engagement
Traditionally, the engagement is performed well in advance of the wedding, just as in western culture, but recently, it has become commonplace for it to be carried out on the wedding day itself. The engagement is historically a way of introducing the Bride to the Groom, who has been selected by her parents and gives a chance for the couple to get acquainted before the wedding, but nowadays most couples choose each other after falling in love.
As with western engagements, the most common token of the declaration to get married is with an exchange of rings, but sometimes this can be replaced by a bracelet or necklace. The exchange is performed in front of the parents of both the man and woman, who have previously consented for the engagement to take place.
Counting the dowry
Traditionally, a dowry will be formally presented by the Groom's parents to the Bride's parents on the Khun Makk tray. This dowry will consist of money and gold/jewellery. The dowry is then counted out onto a red cloth by the Bride's parents. The amount of the dowry is usually predetermined, but traditionally the amount given will be more than this, which is intended to represent prospective wealth for the couple.
Family members and other elders present at the wedding will then bless both the dowry and the couple by sprinkling a mixture of mung beans, sesame seeds, cape marigold petals, popped rice and Thai perfumed powder over the dowry, which again symbolizes the growth of the couple's future wealth.
The dowry is then ready to be wrapped up in the cloth, which is done by tying opposite corners of the cloth to create a bundle. The Bride's mother then hauls the bundle onto her shoulder in a feigned show of heaviness as it is carried away.
Water pouring
The water pouring is the most important part of the Thai wedding ceremony as it is during this part of the ceremony that the couple officially become husband and wife. Traditionally, this was all that was required to validify the marriage, but nowadays the couple are also required to obtain a marriage certificate from the Amphur or local registration office.
Before the water pouring can take place the couple must seat themselves at the traditional water pouring tables (Tung Rod Nam ), with the Bride to the left of the Groom. Once at the tables they will each have a ceremonial headdress (Mong Kol), made from one piece of cotton to signify the joining of the couple, placed upon their heads. The Mong Kol will have previously been blessed by the Buddhist monks earlier in the wedding.
The couple will be fully prepared for the water pouring to commence once they place both hands (palms together), overhanging the water pouring table and positioned above flowers that have been arranged in a water tray, to capture the water that runs off.
Each of the elder guests in turn will take the ceremonial water pouring conch shell (Sung Rod Nam), which has been freshly filled with holy water from the Buddhist ceremony, and pour a trickle of water from the base of the thumb to the fingertips over first the Groom's and then the Bride's hands. While performing this step of the ceremony, the guest will offer a personal blessing to the couple.
Paying respects to the Elders
The couple must pay their respects to the elder members of the two families. This involves the couple being knelt on the floor in front of each of the elders in turn and performing a kraap, where the flattened hands are placed palms together with the index fingers being brought up to touch the nose. The couple then put both hands palms down to the floor while bending down to touch their hands with their head. They then return to the starting position. The whole procedure is done in unison. This prostration is a humble show of respect.
One of the items from the Khun Makk is a gift of candles and incense, which is handed to the elder as a further sign of respect. The elder placed his/her hands around the candles and incense as a symbol of acceptance, but does not keep it as it is used each time for all the family elders. The couple then offer a gift to the elder. The choice of gift is up to the individual couple, but often comprises or cloth. Upon accepting the gift, the elder will replace it with a personal gift to the couple and offers a blessing to the couple.
Finally, the couple will repeat the kraap obeisance.
The nuptial bed
Towards the end of the evening the nuptial bed must be prepared in readiness for the Bride and Groom. This is carried out by an elder couple, known to the Bride and Groom, who have remained married for many years. This fact is significant, as it represents the longevity of the newlyweds marriage.
After making the bed, the elder couple will prepare a number of special items to be placed on the bed. Each of these items are chosen to again represent a long and happy marriage. The items include a wax gourd, a large tomcat, a stone and a gold and silver pouch containing mung beans, sesame seeds, popped rice and either Love Flowers and the petals from the Globe Amaranth, or any other flowers whose meaning symbolizes love, longevity or happiness.
The same contents as placed in the gold and silver pouch are also mixed together by the elder couple for sprinkling on the bed, in the same way as on the dowry, during the morning ceremony. Once the nuptial bed is ready the elder couple will briefly sleep in the bed, with the intention of having pleasant dreams on behalf of the newlyweds.
When the couple are ready, the Groom will enter the bedroom. At this point the Bride will be presented to the Groom by either the elder couple, who made the bed, or by the Bride's parents. This choice is personal to the Bride's family and will be decided by whichever is regarded as being the most auspicious and luckiest for the newlyweds.
The elder couple then depart the bedroom, followed by the Bride's parents, to leave the newlyweds to their new life together.
